Today has been a weird day. What is a weird day? Well, it's probably different for everyone but my personal flavor involves a lot of self-doubt sprinkled with anxiety. Not every day is a weird day but I've started to see a pattern in how they come on.
I'll never forget the first time I swam in an olympic size pool. It was a mixed use pool so it was used for both swimming and diving. I stood on the pool deck acknowledging it's length before entering. It deserved respect. As a novice, the length alone is intimidating. The water is heated but not enough to spare me the shiver when I hop in. I pretend I know what I'm doing and after some pageantry begin swimming down the lane. I move through the shallow water with relative comfort, coming up for regular breaths of air. Comfortable but working. When you breathe you lose sight of the bottom of the pool. After 25 meters and what I would assumed was just another break for air I look down to see the bottom of the pool moving away from me. It's getting deeper, quickly. I should of known that the far end of the pool would be deeper because of the presence of diving platforms but in the bustle of beginning I did not think of it. I begin to panic, swim faster, and become more winded. What would actually be about a minute would feel like an eternity in the deep end. Frantic, I make it to the end of the pool.
My weird days come on sort of like that. The bustle of beginning a new project is louder than my lizard brain and I'm able to start. The shallow water and manageable resistance in the beginning is exciting and I work with vigor. The deep water approaches. I begin to doubt my work and my ability to achieve my goals, but these thoughts and feelings ultimately pass. I keep moving and working and eventually I get back to the shallow water. The shallow water where I'm working and it's difficult but I know I can do it.
Weird days are like the deep end of the pool. I write this as a reminder to myself that it's the same water there's just more of it. Don't forget that. You're the farthest away from the wall – and your comfort zone – you'll ever be when your smack dab in the middle of working. Stopping to tread water won't get you any closer to the wall. Like Dori says, "just keep swimming."